There’s Nothing To See Here

14 Feb

Bucky now blogs with TackleNappy and Aussie Daddy Bloggers. | |

Bucky is also a proud member of Aussie Daddy Bloggers –


The Future of the Caringbush

2 Dec

So it’s like this, I love the Collingwood Football Club whether we’re riding the ladder from the top, or propping up 15, 16 or 17 other AFL teams. I’ve sat back and waved to a couple of delistings, watched the trade period and draft with interest, I’ve witnessed a new coaching structure with Bucks joining the club with the promise of taking over as senior coach in a couple of years, and read the odd article or two about the Pies getting their Jolly’s and Ball’s. I think I’ve absorbed enough now to put my observations and thoughts in words.

The Immediate Future

We’ve sold our souls to the devil during trade and draft weeks. We’ve taken a calculated risk and welcomed a couple of quality players to the club, but in doing so we’ve all but worked ourselves out of the draft, using our three picks to secure a 28 and a 25 year old. Sure, they’re both great players and will add an immediate extra dimension to the club, but what happens in two or three years when we need to top up with young talent again? I believe Collingwood will find one maybe two delistings in the next day or so, providing us with an option to pick up one or two kids who have been considered unlucky not to be drafted. What other choice do we have, really? Mick needs to understand that to win a premiership you not only need a great group of players and a playing list with depth, but you need hope and optimism for the future, and that typically comes when new, young and fresh draftees join the club. In a way, Mick has to look to the future to take care of the now.

Tell me, how do we fit three ruckman into the one team when the club has a history of playing just one through much of 2009? We invested a high draft pick on Cameron Wood, a move which is just now beginning to pay off because he’s been getting some game time. Darren Jolly is now on board and he is clearly the best ruck option at the club and will demand a place in the senior side all season. Some might argue that Josh Fraser is a better centre half forward or full forward maybe, but let’s not forget he’s been a great ruckman for the club and when fit, he’s one of the league’s best. To not play Cameron Wood would be a crime and a waste, to not play potentially the league’s best ruckmen in Jolly would be a hanging offence, and to leave Josh out of the team would be crazy. However, can you imagine Josh starting at centre half forward, Jolly in the ruck, and Wood on the bench. A triple ruck-forward-full-forward rotation….good luck managing this one Mick.

A Couple of Years Time

As I see it, in three to four years time the Pies will not have enough talent to remain a top eight side. Winning a premiership within the next couple of years, quite obviously Mick’s sole focus, wont change this. As supporters, we’ll certainly embrace a premiership followed by a couple of years out of the eight, don’t get me wrong, but to not win a Premiership and then languish towards the bottom of the ladder, harnessing a sub-standard and aging list, fewer quality picks available in a compromised draft, and no hope on the horizon….shoot me now.

Now I’m certainly not the first to suggest this but I genuinely think it’s going to happen. 2010 – Mick Malthouse, 2011 – Nathan Buckley. If Mick doesn’t win a premiership next season, and there’s even a hint of the team having a worse year than 2009, goodbye Mick. This will be driven by the supporters more so than the club. Mick will go early.

Five Years Time

With Nathan Buckley’s young and enthusiastic list, the Pies are starting to show some promise. Those players with a couple of years under the belt are becoming more consistent performers and realising their potential. They’re being likened to the much maligned Dale Thomas who in 2010 cut his hair, justified his early draft selection, and silenced his critics finishing fourth in the Brownlow and gaining All-Australian selection. Taking his game to yet another level, and in his second year of Captaincy, Pendles wins the AFL coaches award and new respect from his peers. Assistant Coach (and Senior Coach in waiting) Gavin Brown lauds the performance of the leagues best backline, and in an emotional farewell, thanks Nick Maxwell for his dedication to the club and congratulates him on retiring on a high, in the same year the Pies win the Flag. James Clement joins the board and the media buzz is that he will be the next Collingwood President or CEO.

Outside the club, the media remember Caro’s contribution to the industry…who would have thought she would be sacked from her position in 2011 and take up a position reading the weather on ABC Late News. Mike Sheahan, also leaving his media role for reasons not disclosed, joins Tim Lane on Plenty Valley FM commentating local DVFL games. New AFL CEO, Dermott Brereton, relaxes tribunal guidelines, much to the criticism of past rules committee members like Kevin Bartlett (who turned to acting, playing Gollum in a new Peter Jackson blockbuster). Gary Lyon, Melbourne coach of three years and 2013 premiership runners up extends his coaching contract for three more years, as the Demons strive to regain their 2012 premiership winning form.

Carlton Football Club, after again being heavily penalised for breaching salary cap conditions, languish at the bottom of the ladder for a third straight year whilst Michael Voss’s disappointing coaching career abruptly ends, being sacked by new club president Daniel Bradshaw.

The Odd Angry Twat

3 Nov

After all this time as a Twitter supporter, a campaigner even, only today have I started to realise its genuine power.

First I need to walk you through today’s events so you can appreciate my pain…no other reason, I just want you all (all 4 readers of my blog) to suffer too.

My wife had to scoot OS at very short notice and didn’t have time to enable the global roaming feature on her phone.  She manages to send me a hasty email asking me to call a certain Telecommunication’s organisation (let’s refer to them as NMOO – ‘No, Maybe, Oh OK’) and try to have the feature enabled.  And try I bloody well did, it was just a pity the two NMOO call centre Twats (hey we’re talking about Twitter here, the word twat is relevant) didn’t try very hard at all.  I’m still mighty pissed at ‘Ms Thisis Howittiz’ and ‘Mr Nevawood Athordadat’.

Ms Thisis Howittiz made it extremely clear that she couldn’t (read ‘wouldn’t’) assist if I didn’t have the relevant PIN code to access the account.  This I totally understand for you’d expect a certain element of security, however to advise me that there were absolutely no other options was total and utter bullshit.  Still, I played the game and in between tweeting my dissatisfaction with NMOO customer service I emailed my wife asking for the PIN but, as expected, she was uncontactable.

Enter Mr Nevawood Athordadat.  I went through the same process and started to wonder whether Mr Nevawood was actually Ms Thisis putting on a different voice.  It was when I said “why don’t you just enable global roaming temporarily, call my wife, and ask her to authorize it over the phone?” that I knew I had a different robot.  After a few more minutes of listening to me whine like an old Hills Hoist in the wind, Mr Nevawood puts me on hold for five minutes and chats to his manager.  He returns with, well, I’m not sure what he returned with to be honest.  Something about liability and covering costs during the four hour period it takes to enable the service without the account owner’s request.  After listening to Nevawood for a few minutes, and still failing to ascertain whether I actually had an option here I muttered a few ugly words and hung up….really pissed off.  If he was actually offering me a solution, he couldn’t tell me how to go about it.

With steam pouring from my ears and fingers poised to write a scathing tweet, I noticed NMOO had responded to my earlier tweet.  Here we go again I thought, my third contact with the enemy today, but at least this was a one minute effort in the form of a return tweet, rather than another frustrating 20 minute phone call.  To cut a long story short (and to enable me to focus on the negatives and whine a little more) NMOO via Twitter found the obvious and straight forward solution immediately.  Sure I did spend another half hour on the phone but it was all 100% positive, and the feature was enabled within the hour (not four hours Nev, just one!).  I was speaking with someone who possessed intelligence, someone who actually took an interest in helping the customer – how’s that for novel idea for a help desk! So full credit and genuine thanks to ‘NMOO Support via Twitter’.

What was the point of this blog again? Oh that’s right, the power of Twitter.  Consider the actual audience that my two or three tweets potentially reached today.  I have 250 odd Twitter followers, and each tweet automatically updates my Facebook status, another 400 odd friends.  I have other social networks that also take my Tweets as status updates and though the friend count is fewer by a great margin, the audience is an exclusively different crowd.  It’s possible that 700+ people followed my NMOO saga today, not to mention those who managed to pickup my tweets via the relevant search functions of each of these social platforms

Imagine if NMOO didn’t respond to any of my ‘Odd angry twat’s’ today?   The potential bad press it could have generated forced their hand.  To protect the company’s reputation they were basically forced to respond publicly via Twitter in a timely manner to prevent the issue from spiraling out of control.

So, the lesson here?  For me, I learnt to sook, to sook loud, and to sook publicly.  Now, back to advise my Facebook and Twitter friends of the outcome to the NMOO saga.

The Next Shout is Mine

2 Nov

For those of you who don’t know, a good mate and I have a side project titled ‘Tackle Nappy’ which we’re trying to get off the ground.  It’s basically a parenting website for blokes.  We’re a good combination as I have two gorgeous girls to write about, and he is expecting to become a dad in the near future (he’s also the better writer by a country mile, so I can’t lose).

In a strange way last night the planets ‘aligned’ and presented me with an opportunity to play ‘Mr Mum’ for a few days.  Perhaps I should rephrase that to ‘the planets started to wobble on their axis’ and made the ‘Mr Mum’ role play a necessity.  I wont detail the events that led to this but I can tell you that this is an opportunity I’d much rather be without.  But let’s make the most of this he says and write a Mr Mum Diary, putting a humorous bent on the challenges that present themselves over the remainder of the week.  Unfortunately the planets then decided to turn on their axis, collide, and come crashing down.

My Tackle Nappy partner in crime lost his father this morning due to complications associated with cancer treatment.  I’m now lost for words as I can’t possibly do justice to JB in the space of a few paragraphs.  Nothing I write can change things, nothing I write can bring him back, nothing I write can ease the grief his family, my friends, are feeling right now.  These guys have had to deal with way too much grief in recent history.

For now I’ll retire the Mr Mum Diary idea and just enjoy the time I get to spend with my girls.  I’ll make sure I give dad a big hug when he returns from his holiday, just because.

The Percy Beames BarTo JB, right now I’m enjoying a rare weeknight beer, remembering all the good times we had in the MCC Members bars together.  It’s certainly a celebratory beer because the beers we have shared up until now, always have been.

And to those reading this, if you happen to come across two blokes standing with three pots at the MCC’s Bull Ring bar, know that that third beer is in fact the property of the other guy standing beside us.

Rest in Peace JB.

The Premiership’s a Cakewalk…Apparently

25 Aug
Well that’s it then, according to the print media Collingwood’s home and hosed, a premiership favourite, a dead cert to bring home the chocolates.  Being the planner I am, I’ve decided to get the jump on the rest of the footy public and organise my Grand Final week now, and the weeks leading up to it.

Saturday August 29

I booked a visit to Giovanni in Northcote (Victoria’s best tattooist) and we’re going to discuss my Collingwood Premiers tattoo. I’m actually going have Premiers 2009 and 2010 inked.


Sunday 30 August

Go to the game.  See if the Pies can run up some form against the Bulldogs….who the media don’t rate anymore.  So this should be a walk in the park.


Monday 31 August

Taking a ‘sick day’ off work.  Need to organise a few investment loans.

  • Going to take out a line of credit against my home so that I can place $300k on Dane Swan to win the Brownlow, and applying for another credit card, which I can use to bet on Dayne Beams for the Rising Star Award.
  • Organising an investment loan from another bank to pay for my sure-thing bet of Heath Shaw for the Norm Smith medal.
  • Signing up for another credit card so that I can use it to bet on Shane O’Bree for first goal of the Grand Final…maybe I’ll put my money on Jack Anthony instead.
  • Final bet (selling both cars) on Pies to win by 82 points or more in the Grand Final…it’s a sure thing.


Tuesday 1 September

Organised the next four Thursday’s off work.  Going to attend every Collingwood Thursday training session.  Might try and gain signatures of each ‘premiership player’ on a jumper.


Friday 4 September

Making a small banner for this weekend’s game against Geelong.  Hopefully the camera man will catch it and it will be shown on TV.  It reads –

At Collingwood we like Cakewalks

The best you’ll ever try

Though this weekend we’ll be dining

On half-baked pussy pie


Sunday 6 September

At the game.  Thinking I’ll wear my very own gold jacket from the time the Pies run through the pre-game banner.


Thursday 10 September

Before I head to Magpie trainig, I’ll be working on my novelty 10 metre tall ‘chokers’ noose and planning how I’ll hang it from Princess Park.  The Blues are surely going to choke when the going gets tough.


Saturday 12 September

Ahh, relaxation as we have a week off.


Monday 14 September

Early morning, will enlist a couple of cheer squad members and hang the chokers prop from Princess Park.

Anonymous call to Mark Robinson at 9am so it makes the news.


Thursday 17 September

Might write a new John Dorotich joke and post it on  See if they’ll red card me again for another Carlton joke…how fickle are they, really.

I’ll then head to training and take some photos of the premiership team.  Then I’ll post those photos via Twitter and message @Harry_O and @Collingwood_FC, and let them know they’re online.  While on Twitter, I might message @Essendon_FC and give them some curry about their finals hopes. 


Saturday 19th September

This will be good.  Chances are we’ll beat Adelaide, Brisbane or Essendon.  I’ll just sit back and enjoy the clinical display.  I wonder if Mick will experiment again by playing players out of position…Presti at Full Forward would be great.


Saturday 26 September GRAND FINAL DAY

I’ve got this planned to minute, but here’s the overview.

  • Wakeup, with a smile.
  • Get to the ground early and hang around outside as, despite being the biggest Magpie fan in the world I can’t secure a ticket (hey gotta look after those corporates who go to one game a year…they’re the ones that count).
  • Soak up the cheers for each and every Magpie Goal and join in the Collingwood theme song at Quarter time, half time, Three quarter time and full time.
  • I’ll head to Rod Laver Arena, Victoria Park or the Lexus Centre and enjoy the Grand Final celebrations.


Monday 28 September –> 2 October 2009

Booked leave from work.  I’ll need it to party with the boys, and to get over my hangover.

I may even begin to plan next years Grand Final Week.


Tuesday 29 September

Meet with my financial advisor.  Work out what to do with my winnings prior to collecting from the TAB.


Wednesday 30 September

Will head to the TAB and collect my winnings.  Will wait to see the print media reports, but will likely put it all on the Magpies to win the 2010 premiership.

My Bitch, I Mean Our Bitch

4 Aug

If you don’t know already, I’m a part owner of a greyhound that is currently doing the rounds, racing her little heart out against bigger and generally more experienced competitors in Western Australia. Our girl has already received her fair share of media coverage due to the fact that a number of the part owners are accomplished sportsmen. This media coverage also probably explains why she has had short odds from day one.

Our little bitch (I love being able to use that word, in context, guilt free) commonly bolts out of the box, leads for the better part of the race, only to get overtaken in the home straight. To add to this, she’s smaller than the majority of her competitors and commonly gets checked, easily pushed aside, and effectively taken out of the contest. Another excuse I can employ is our run of unfavourable box draws. She has managed to draw box 7 for probably 80% of her races. In greyhound racing you want to draw a lower number box, one closer to the rail. This gives the dishlicker a greater chance of having a cleaner run, a shorter path, and hopefully a placing or even better, a victory. All the stats show that the lower the box number, the more chance you have of winning.

This week we’re racing her at a slightly shorter track in Mandurah for the first time. It should suit her as it’s shorter by more than 100 metres. She’s drawn blooming box 5 this time, which is a slight improvement to box 7. Go girl go…don’t bet on her though, I’m trying to keep the odds down.

2009 NAB AFL Rising Star Competition

4 Aug


A quick & short post here regarding the NAB AFL Rising Star competition. I noticed Callan Ward was today nominated for round 18 which surprised me, not because I don’t think he’s a worthy nominee, rather I can’t believe he wasn’t nominated earlier in the season. I guess this highlights how many quality young players are currently running around in the AFL.

I know the season’s not over yet, but here’s my top 2 to 4 – everyone has accepted that Daniel Rich is a clear winner. What is your top 5? Who do you think deserves a nomination?

Daniel Rich (Round 1)
Dayne Beams (Round 17)
Jack Ziebell (Round 7)
Callan Ward (Round 18)
Patrick Dangerfield (Round 3)

Nominations so far
Round 1 – Daniel Rich
Round 2 – David Zaharakis
Round 3 – Patrick Dangerfield
Round 4 – Jaxson Barham
Round 5 – Garry Moss
Round 6 – Stephen Hill
Round 7 – Jack Ziebell
Round 8 – Jarryn Geary
Round 9 – Andy Otten
Round 10 – Taylor Walker
Round 11 – Brad Dick
Round 12 – Aaron Joseph
Round 13 – Tayte Pears
Round 14 – Jack Grimes
Round 15 – Liam Jurrah
Round 16 – Chris Masten
Round 17 – Dayne Beams
Round 18 – Callan Ward