The Premiership’s a Cakewalk…Apparently

25 Aug
Well that’s it then, according to the print media Collingwood’s home and hosed, a premiership favourite, a dead cert to bring home the chocolates.  Being the planner I am, I’ve decided to get the jump on the rest of the footy public and organise my Grand Final week now, and the weeks leading up to it.

Saturday August 29

I booked a visit to Giovanni in Northcote (Victoria’s best tattooist) and we’re going to discuss my Collingwood Premiers tattoo. I’m actually going have Premiers 2009 and 2010 inked.


Sunday 30 August

Go to the game.  See if the Pies can run up some form against the Bulldogs….who the media don’t rate anymore.  So this should be a walk in the park.


Monday 31 August

Taking a ‘sick day’ off work.  Need to organise a few investment loans.

  • Going to take out a line of credit against my home so that I can place $300k on Dane Swan to win the Brownlow, and applying for another credit card, which I can use to bet on Dayne Beams for the Rising Star Award.
  • Organising an investment loan from another bank to pay for my sure-thing bet of Heath Shaw for the Norm Smith medal.
  • Signing up for another credit card so that I can use it to bet on Shane O’Bree for first goal of the Grand Final…maybe I’ll put my money on Jack Anthony instead.
  • Final bet (selling both cars) on Pies to win by 82 points or more in the Grand Final…it’s a sure thing.


Tuesday 1 September

Organised the next four Thursday’s off work.  Going to attend every Collingwood Thursday training session.  Might try and gain signatures of each ‘premiership player’ on a jumper.


Friday 4 September

Making a small banner for this weekend’s game against Geelong.  Hopefully the camera man will catch it and it will be shown on TV.  It reads –

At Collingwood we like Cakewalks

The best you’ll ever try

Though this weekend we’ll be dining

On half-baked pussy pie


Sunday 6 September

At the game.  Thinking I’ll wear my very own gold jacket from the time the Pies run through the pre-game banner.


Thursday 10 September

Before I head to Magpie trainig, I’ll be working on my novelty 10 metre tall ‘chokers’ noose and planning how I’ll hang it from Princess Park.  The Blues are surely going to choke when the going gets tough.


Saturday 12 September

Ahh, relaxation as we have a week off.


Monday 14 September

Early morning, will enlist a couple of cheer squad members and hang the chokers prop from Princess Park.

Anonymous call to Mark Robinson at 9am so it makes the news.


Thursday 17 September

Might write a new John Dorotich joke and post it on  See if they’ll red card me again for another Carlton joke…how fickle are they, really.

I’ll then head to training and take some photos of the premiership team.  Then I’ll post those photos via Twitter and message @Harry_O and @Collingwood_FC, and let them know they’re online.  While on Twitter, I might message @Essendon_FC and give them some curry about their finals hopes. 


Saturday 19th September

This will be good.  Chances are we’ll beat Adelaide, Brisbane or Essendon.  I’ll just sit back and enjoy the clinical display.  I wonder if Mick will experiment again by playing players out of position…Presti at Full Forward would be great.


Saturday 26 September GRAND FINAL DAY

I’ve got this planned to minute, but here’s the overview.

  • Wakeup, with a smile.
  • Get to the ground early and hang around outside as, despite being the biggest Magpie fan in the world I can’t secure a ticket (hey gotta look after those corporates who go to one game a year…they’re the ones that count).
  • Soak up the cheers for each and every Magpie Goal and join in the Collingwood theme song at Quarter time, half time, Three quarter time and full time.
  • I’ll head to Rod Laver Arena, Victoria Park or the Lexus Centre and enjoy the Grand Final celebrations.


Monday 28 September –> 2 October 2009

Booked leave from work.  I’ll need it to party with the boys, and to get over my hangover.

I may even begin to plan next years Grand Final Week.


Tuesday 29 September

Meet with my financial advisor.  Work out what to do with my winnings prior to collecting from the TAB.


Wednesday 30 September

Will head to the TAB and collect my winnings.  Will wait to see the print media reports, but will likely put it all on the Magpies to win the 2010 premiership.


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